College Confessions

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I was sitting in class, wondering how any information I was being given would ever be useful to me outside of that particular room at that particular time of day on Tuesdays and Thursdays in particular and particularly until the middle of December, when I started to make a list.
College Confession #1
The most annoying thing a teacher can do is end class a minute late.
College Confession #2
The most annoying kid is the one who talks and makes class end late.  And the kid who brings up homework.  They tend to be the same kid.
College Confession #3
I’m the kid who looks at the clock constantly and begins shuffling papers 5 ‘til in the hopes that the teacher will let out early.
College Confession #4
I always think, “somebody had to have done worse” when I get a bad grade.
College Confession #5
Why am I in such a rush?  I have a subscription to Netflix.
College Confession #6
I check my e-mail every morning in hopes I’ll find out class has been cancelled.
College Confession #7
I strategically sit either as close to the door as I can so I can get out the fastest when class is over, or as far in the back as I can so I never have to talk.  There is no in between.
College Confession #8
There are objects that are not allowed in the dorm rooms.  People find ways to get said objects in the dorm rooms.  Let’s just leave it at that.
College Confession #9
So many kids stay after class to talk to the teacher.  I have no idea why.
College Confession #10
I’m an English major.  I don’t understand about half of what I read, I read about a third of what I’m assigned, and I find about two-thirds of what I do read boring.  I became an English major because I love to read and write … what I want to read and write.
I understand how most (okay, all) of these confessions make me look.  But that’s why they’re called confessions — they’re riddled with guilt.  So judge if you feel compelled to, laugh in agreement if you think to, and add extra confessions if you want to.  Reflect on the spirit of Confession #4 and believe me, there are others out there worse than you.

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